Breaking news: Pippa Middleton to play Lara Croft

Rumour has it Pippa Middleton will star as Lara Croft in the upcoming production of Tomb Raider 3: The Curse of Amazonia which will be released in spring 2013.

Fresh from her auspicious debut last year Pippa Middleton will be reappearing on our screens in the form of another shapely character, Lara Croft.   This is the extraordinary news that Britain’s very own scene stealer will be slipping into the famous explorer’s turquoise sleeveless tank top taking over from Angelina Jolie, who is believed to have turned down the role to play Asma al-Assad in the upcoming HBO mini-series Despots’ Housewives.  Although Middleton has no previous acting experience, her exclusive upbringing and elite social status echoes that of the fictional adventuress who was raised as an aristocrat and attended a Swiss finishing school. Coincidentally, producers were said to have been angered last week when compromising pictures of their star emerged in Paris, however a source close to the production managed to put a positive spin on it, ”it just shows how adept she is at handling large weapons.”

The landing of one of the most recognisable women in the world is regarded as a significant coup and interest in the film is expected to be strong, with a bidding war likely at the upcoming Cannes film festival. Harvey Weinstein is also said to be ‘monitoring’ the situation. The Curse of Amazonia, to be directed by Michael Bay will hope to match the original Tomb Raider’s $274,700,000 gross worldwide box office.

We can’t help but think that this film is the perfect opportunity for Pippa to flaunt her perfectly-formed posterior in a pair of light brown shorts and calf-high boots.  We wish we could turn the clocks forward…

WOULD YOU GO AND SEE THIS MOVIE? (COMMENT UNDERNEATH)

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  • Carl

    She’s got the butt, but not the “guns”

  • Rita

    Nobody can replace angelinas roll. How annoying, better not be true

  • No Way

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

  • H1092290

    I call shenanigans!

    • http://www.billiondollarboy.com Edward East

      Do you now?

  • Andreasgalea

    bullshit

Just a measly contributor