Whilst clearly being the drink of choice for drunkards suffering the ill effects of a Urinary Tract Infection, Vodka and Cranberry Juice is also the official beverage of people (mainly women) apparently lacking tastes buds. You can dress it up with flavoured ethanol and some Cointreau, which is a Cosmopolitan for the uninformed. It is, however, still utter crap. Vodka is Russian Moonshine, and even they have to add pepper to the damn stuff in order to just take shots. Clearly adding the worst fruit juice imaginable, which comes mainly in the form of sweetened and concentrated Cranberry Juice Coctail, is a recipe for failure. Rather than suffer the shame of ordering this vile concoction: order a Scotch, since you obviously can’t taste the bloody difference.

The Vodka Cranberry: Mix Vodka and Cranberry Juice Cocktail over ice. Better yet, don’t! Rather, pour Scotch over ice in a glass, and drink it.