‘Why are you drinking out of the jug?’ ‘Well, you always get so cross when I drink out of your glass. I was trying to be helpful.’
Sometimes, living with other people is tricky.
I live with one other person in a very nice flat. Unfortunately, this one other person is my little sister.
‘Could you unload the dishwasher please? ‘Well, I would unload it but I don’t really want to.’ ‘I don’t particularly want to either. And you are using all my toothpaste.’ ‘I don’t think that is your toothpaste you know. And where is my jacket?’ ‘The red one? That’s not yours. Mum gave it to me when I left uni.’ ‘Mum gave it to me years before that. Before you were even BORN. No-one wanted you, you know. You were an ACCIDENT.’ (We now just lick our cutlery and put it back in the drawers. Much friendlier. Please do pop over for dinner).
Yesterday I asked if my sister could remove some of her swathes of crap from the living room. ‘Well, I would, but you know how I got the master bedroom?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Well, I really assumed the living room came with that.’ ‘But it didn’t.’ ‘Yes, but you see I thought it did, so I don’t want to get confused.’ I had a very pleasant evening on the sofa, nestled alongside her bike helmet and wash-bag. ‘Why is your washbag here?’ ‘Oh yes. To remind me to take it to the bathroom.’ ‘The bathroom’s just down the hall.’ ‘Yes, please do remind me to take it there.’
One of the worst fights we ever had was over the laundry powder.
(I used to get confused between dishwasher and washing machine tablets, so we have switched to liquid detergent for our clothes). ‘Why did you buy this cheap stuff?’ ‘I think you have answered your own question.’ ‘This doesn’t clean. All it does is streak our clothes with white.’ ‘That’s what it’s meant to do.’ ‘No.’ ‘Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but I am a much cleaner person than you. Of either of us, I really would know.’ ‘Yesterday I saw you put on the same pair of knickers inside out.’ ‘I am environmentally clean. I am clean for the WORLD.’
Like I said, living with other people is tricky.
