For a heavyweight boxer a shot at the heavyweight championship of the world is the ultimate ambition, the kind of dream like stuff found in Rocky Balboa films. So, if you or I were given this chance then I’d imagine we would show a modicum of dignity, an insatiable will to win and a due amount of respect for the reigning champion. Well, back in February British boxer Dereck Chisora decided to employ a slightly different tactic, so let’s go through Dereck ‘Del Boy’ Chisora’s instructional guide on how to approach the fight of your life;
1.) The pre- fight press conference is a chance to show what you’re made of so be sure to give your opponent a nice big slap across the face.
2.) Before the fight you really need to get in the zone, one good way to do so is to take a nice big drink of water. Having done that be sure to spit said water in the face of your opponent’s brother, now the fans are really on your side!
3.) So unfortunately despite such excellent preparation you lost the fight, sad but there’s always the post fight press conference to show that you’re a great man of excellent sporting calibre. The best way to display these qualities is to confront another boxer, become embroiled in a playground brawl with him and proceed to loudly proclaim that you intend to shoot him. A little note, threats to shoot someone don’t carry much weight at first, so to ram home the message you should repeat said threat at least four times.
Surprisingly these actions on the part of Dereck Chisora failed to earn him universal respect, in fact they resulted in him being stripped of his British licence to box and led to him being questioned by the less than impressed German police force. The man involved in the scrap with Chisora, David Haye, had already retired at this point so such action could not be taken against him. However, it was another embarrassment to add to the catalogue of Haye errors, which include him once describing a fight in this charmingly eloquent manner “It’s going to be as one sided as a gang rape”, lovely.
Anyway if you are wondering why I’m dragging all this up (it took place in February) then I shall explain. These two superb examples of British sportsmen have decided to sort out their differences in a professional arena, with a fight scheduled for the 14th July at West Ham’s Upton Park football ground. Despite neither fighter having a licence awarded by the British Boxing Board of Control and despite the organisation threatening to expel anyone involved in staging the event, it is going ahead nonetheless. That is because the unscrupulous people at the Luxembourg Boxing Federation have taken advantage of European Union freedom of trade laws and sanctioned the fight to go ahead on British soil. Another beacon of British morality, Boxing promoter Frank Warren is the man behind the contest, although he is cleverly not directly promoting the event, leaving that ‘honour’ to the German promotional company Sauerland Promotions. So legally there is very little the British authorities can do to put a stop to the proposed scrap and at the time of writing it appears set to go ahead.
The vast majority of the boxing world have come out to denounce the fight, with many claiming it stands for all that is wrong with the sport in the modern era. It is hard to disagree with the boxing community, after all here are two men who have continually disgraced themselves publically and have shown a complete lack of disrespect to both opponents and the watching public. Of course the reason this fight will go ahead is because it is a big money maker, despite the lack of class there is something enthralling about the whole ludicrous set up. A recent press conference saw the two men separated by the kind of fences you see near the toilets at festivals, completely ridiculous yet at the same time strangely entertaining. Frank Warren who is no doubt aware of how much money he stands to make from the event even had the cheek to proclaim he had a duty to allow Chisora to earn a living! Clearly he is convincing no one with such a paper thin argument.
Anyway having watched all this unfold in a state of complete bemusement, I decided I would take a peek at Chisora’s twitter feed. After all Twitter is a tool which celebrities and sportspeople alike use to show their human side to the rest of the world. Surely I would find that this was all showmanship on the part of Chisora and in fact he’s a normal guy with some redeeming qualities. Well having scrolled through a lot of poorly written nonsense I came across some retweets by Chisora concerning the planned fight with Haye. The most popular hash tag appeared to be #gaymaker, a not so hilarious jibe at David Haye. So I guess we can add homophobia to Dereck Chisora’s list of qualities.
I’ve no doubt this fight will go ahead and those involved will make a disgusting amount of money, and despite protestations from anyone with a semblance of moral fibre, nobody involved will care a jot. Boxing in the modern era is about money and very little else, one need only look as far as the most famous boxer in the world Floyd Mayweather jr, a man previously imprisoned on charges of domestic battery to see that being a good guy counts for very little.
