We all fantasise about how we do it. The ultimate “up yours!” walk-out. The perfect scenario for the blooming of ones self-esteem and sense of being worthy of the better. So why do we chicken out? Where’s the courage? All you need to do is to let go…no wishing, no “what if” just action… imagine…..

“I quit!”

Simple as that. Slam the door shut and walk out. How did it feel?

It’s in human nature to imagine how to quit jobs so many times and yet again hardly ever following through with the real thing. Now in reality, what happens is the illusion your mind draws for you to offer consolidation in order to face the following day in the same old situation. People just walking out are so inspiring, aren’t they? Almost like heroes or some inhuman godly creatures who had the balls to leap. And then you ponder – what’s missing within me? Why can’t I do it? All I need to do is follow through, right?! Or is it?

In order to feel free, we need to make the decision and take the fall. As they say, it always gets worse before it starts to get better again. Perhaps it’s the knowing of that truth that keeps people in their bubble of fear and hanging on to familiar, even if it’s slowly destroying them. Nobody wants to be hurt or feel like the sky has crumbled down of them. The dawning idea of this inevitable solution pushes modern person to justify the weakening and depressing situation they are in just in order to protect themselves. But when do you then know when enough is enough and in order to save the sanity and ones future you need to leap?

quit2Growing up in the technologically evolutional time of social networking and internationally public image, we bitch and moan about what’s wrong with our lives to people we’ve met only once. Or befriended them on of the social media websites. Instead of tackling the issue and making decision for oneself, modern human being is looking for other to listen to them in order to get the support and justification to quit. After all, if someone says “you have to quit your current job. It’s killing you!”  it almost feels like reconfirmation of the fact one’s not delusional loonatic for wanting to change. It’ s the sickening approval of our peers we are looking for. Unless you go through something I’d like to call the modern epiphany.

The understanding of the fact that happiness is a choice and we all hold the key to our own one. Once we come to that conclusion, the rest to follow will be easier than imagined. The only hard thing there is to do, is to take the first step.

But when do you know whether it’s way too early to give up and therefore look weak and  being labelled as the one who couldn’t take the heat? Most of the world lives by the rule of working from nine to five (give or take). Out of the 24 hours in the day, eight of those hours makes one third of the time in our day, and 50 percent of the time we spend being awake. The other two hours of it goes to commuting between home and office, which leaves us roughly with  six hours a day to do something that makes us happy. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that majority of our time spent awake  is being spent making some living. It’s our selection of career that is probably one of the most important decisions of all times as it will be our reality for the most of our lives. What happens when you have chosen wrong and few years along the way you realise you have simply trapped yourself? You have accidentally  created a world doing something that only takes and gives nothing back. Statistically more than half of employed people in the world are tied to something they don’t even want to do, but they have trapped themselves into it for different reasons. It can be brutal on your soul and might start manifesting its poison physically. So how do you then get the courage to make the change and ditch all you know?

They say when people reach that point in their lives they should take time off and go to their “hilltop” to think. Back in Tallinn I used to go to the beach and stare out to the sea to clear my head. Now in London, I have cup of obscenely sweet Starbucks’ frappuccino and a grubby canal side where I escape to. I have created the “hilltop” . It’s a crappy one, but it’s mine. Hilltop is a relative term and can be found where you need it. You just need to go with your gut feeling and find the place that calms your head. Now why I came to the hilltop in the first place is that apparently this is your place where you make most important decisions of your life…or the radical ones when feel trapped.

I personally believe that the hilltop plays significant role in the “I quit” process. So lets say you have been to that hilltop and turn out to be one of the brave ones to take the leap. Congratulations! First step has been taken. You are a hero! So, now what? Panic, fear of unknown but yet, such sense of freedom. Even a second of this feeling seems to be worth more than any pay check however big at the place making you so miserable. It will be one of the most frightening things you will ever do. Then again, you would feel the happiness and satisfaction you have never felt before. Unless of course you have already done something similar and lived your life to fullest like few genius and brave ones do. In that case, I shall bow as you’d be one of the few lucky ones actually living their lives.


So you have your freedom now, but what you do with it? Modern world has been designed to be series of little tackles and all about survival.  In order to survive and sustain in this life, one ultimately needs money and therefore, needs a job. You gloat in your glory for a while until realising you need to provide for the survival. The painful process of finding a new job is yet to begin. Its hard enough as it is to try and figure out what the hell it is you actually want to do, let alone go and start applying for new things straight away. The stress, the feeling of wanting to flee….again.

And there you go, for once, the world is your oyster. Go and live.

What usually happens in this situation is that people go travelling and switch themselves off from the reality. It’s amazing if you can, you have my blessing. But if you decide to go be ready to return to the reality once you come back. Sooner or later everyone faces the same old question – what do I want to do now and how can I get it?

Many of my friends have gone and come back. Few have found the happiness within, few have fallen to the same old trap. When all your CV is filled with old things and jobs that made you unhappy, how can you then make the U-turn and start all over again?

So here we go  – I quit!

What happens next? What do I do? I know what makes me happy and I know what I want my life to be like but I have no idea how to get there. When only looking does’t work, then should one just ask: hire me?

I like creating stories and I like to experience new places.
I like food and I love music.
And I adore writing.

I leaped.