My mother keeps telling me to grow up… I completely disagree. I’d much rather be Peter Pan than some old man Peter Banning (please IMDB ‘Hook’ if you don’t get the reference). Of course, there is the problem of my 20’s getting ever closer to their conclusion, but then I heard this great news! We all knew women begin their declines at 32, but I’ve got 11 extra years on the mean old misandrists who want me to ‘grow up’.

Being Peter Pan isn’t so much a state of mind, no, it’s now a verifiable state of nature. I have an entire extra decade plus a year to reach the same level of maturity as my first wife (not a typo, just a playing the odds), which is f-ing brilliant! Honestly, who wants to truly think of themselves as an adult? George Clooney surely doesn’t: men want to be him, women are clambering to be with him, and he can afford to be a socialist. Though, I always wanted to be James Bond, but Danny Ocean just might work.

Now, I have done some growing up over the past year or so: trying to only sleep with women I actually like, growing a beard, changing the way I eat, and starting my own company with those who possess strengths where I have weaknesses. Alright, the later three have made the first one more difficult, but I did enough growing up to make the move from Rufio to Peter. For instance, I’m no longer going to have to say things like, I have a dog, retractable back-scratcher that you gave me, cleaner, and the ability to cook; why the hell do you think you’re even here? or Your mouth isn’t valued for what comes out of it to women I’m ‘dating’. Not that I’ve said those things… Ok, I have, but that’s more to do with women responding favourably to maltreatment and inattention. If you don’t believe me, read this book.


Peter Pan is a nice fellow and a leader, but he’s just not a ‘grown up’. So, I can be nicer, more mature, and a better person, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to women’s time-lines on how to live my life. And, all things being equal, I much prefer being Peter Pan over the other green tights wearing character of stage and screen, Robin Hood; that bastard is a thieving communist from Nottingham.