If there was ever anything that was going to make me never want to go on a plane again it was watching the film Flight.  

I hate flying. I always have and always will and this film has done nothing but rub salt into the wound. I’ve been on a plane three times in my life and I’m pretty content with my tiny amount of air miles.

‘Oh but your missing out on so many amazing places and incredible sights’

No.

I do not have a death wish thank you for your concern. Oh and for the record the pilot being drunk is not something that has ever crossed my mind and was not a reason for my fear of being out of control in a gravity-defying death spiral 30,000 feet up in the air.

Until now.

On the other hand, I do love Denzel Washington and so naturally I was eager to witness his enigmatic smile beaming at me through the medium of film. What followed however actually left me desperate for an oxygen mask to drop from the ceiling because I’m pretty sure I didn’t breathe for the first 30 minutes of the running time. Needless to say the plane crash only exacerbated my deep-seated terror.

Now when I say the name Denzel Washington to you I know what you’re thinking. I know that you’re wishing you were the little girl that got kidnapped in Man on Fire just so Denzel would kill all the bad guys and come and save you. Don’t pretend you weren’t. If you were hoping for more of the same in Flight, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Imagine a raging alcoholic, drug-taking, out of control lunatic in charge of your life. Oh and he’s completely in denial. Not the perfect combination for a calm and relaxing journey.

If I had to pinpoint one part of the film that had the greatest impact, I’m not quite sure what was more uncomfortable to watch, the traumatising plane atrocity or an overly, let’s say ‘cuddly’, Denzel cavorting with a naked woman young enough to be his daughter. (Read in to ‘cavorting’ what you will) I don’t know about the male members of the audience but I certainly didn’t listen to anything Denzel was saying whilst she was on the screen for what I feel was a ridiculously long period of time.

The only positive thing I can say about this film is that it made me dislike Denzel Washington’s character. (Don’t judge me) I mean this in the sense that he is such a talented actor that I didn’t find any of his character traits attractive and that is no mean feat when it comes to my admiration for this man. (Although yes, I do admit he did look pretty striking in his uniform).

If you’re prepared to be uncomfortable (in many senses of the word) then go and see Flight however if you’re planning on taking a trip maybe give this one a miss.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go and put some time and effort into planning my future expeditions via boat. A much safer option I think. Titanic aside obviously.