This being the time of year where everyone is having Christmas Parties, you’ll probably be drinking this “stuff” at some point. Now, one might choose to leave the sort of party where the skinflint hosts have served mediocre food on a stick and this cheap swill, yet there is still the distinct possibility of drunkenly pulling, which means that you won’t. My party shoppinglist involves a printed spreadsheet detailing the required top-shelf liquor and champers required to get a regiment drunk and basically doubling it, but someone always bring this stuff as a gift. Needless to say, it tends to get consumed anyway, so people must like the stuff. These people would be women, which means that I’m ok with this. To make the stuff as close to palatable as is possible, chill it to the point that ice is forming on the outside of the bottle like an American beer. You probably won’t have to worry about the wine being corked, since there probably isn’t an actual cork, so just pour it in a glass and drink. Do this after you’re already drunk or have a nice tobacco taste in your mouth, because you definitely won’t want to taste what you’re drinking. 

Cheap New World White Wine: Serve the wine ice cold in any wine glass; the drinkers of this crap couldn’t tell the difference anyway.