There are three acceptable varieties of America’s great gift to the world: Wet, Dry, and Dirty. Anything else served in a “Martini glass” is NOT A #^%!ING MARTINI, so unless you are drinking a combination of Gin and Dry Vermouth, you’re not having one! That being said, the Martini itself is a wonderful concoction with two varieties of garnish: a twist of lemon peel or cocktail olives. An interesting variation of this is to soak one’s olives in either Gin or Vermouth, but why waste good liquor? However, like many a cretin, one might be tempted to shake the Martini; just because you saw James Bond order a vodka cocktail like that in a movie, does not make it right. Commander Bond is, like the Vodka Martini, a character of fiction, and we at Dead Curious don’t order fictional drinks! Gin is a wonderful thing, so don’t ruin it by shaking your drink and watering it down. Martinis are gently stirred in an ice-filled mixing glass and strained onto the proper chilled stemware.

The Martini: In a mixing glass over ice stir 5 parts Gin to 1 part Dry Vermouth (more Gin=Dry, more Vermouth=Wet), strain into a chilled martini glass, and garnish with either a twist of lemon peel or cocktail olive. A Dirty Martini is made by adding Olive Brine to taste and garnishing only with olives.