Today I learnt a very important lesson. Men are just as interested in shopping as women. You may be slightly cynical, you may even laugh outright, however I have just spent an unreasonably long amount of time having this demonstrated to me first hand. In the freezing cold. I’ll never get that time back. Without wanting to adhere to gender stereotypes too much (and actually failing) cars happen to be the objects of desire in this instance…. What is it with men and cars?

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking what is so wrong with looking for a new car? Everything. From the questions about tax to the laughing when I was asked about the engine on our current car and replied yes it has one, I could not think of a more boring way to spend my time than looking for a new car. Shouldn’t there be some things in life that are kept a mystery? It’s like seeing behind the scenes at Disneyland and Mickey Mouse has taken his head off…there is no coming back from that. The only highlight I think in this case was the amount of car puns I came up with for the title of this article…’driving me crazy’ was understandably rejected outright.

I must admit I didn’t make the process any more enjoyable, due in large part to my dad having already taught me how to put air in the tyres earlier in the day (thanks dad, I don’t actually own a car but I’ll make sure to file this one under ‘vital life skills’) and me having consequently built up a hatred of anything vehicular because of the amount of dirt that kindly transferred itself on to my clothes when I was ‘trying to help’. I naturally proceeded to the garage with a negative mindset where I was outraged to discover that my helpful comments on the unappealing colour of the car in question were not well received…. Can you imagine such an injustice?

I was asked incessantly what I thought and to be fair, and remembering I am actually an adult, I carefully thought about an appropriate answer before proceeding (rather eloquently if I may say so myself) thus: ‘If you are still talking about the car then I regret to inform you that my feelings have not changed towards it. If however during the time I was otherwise engaged in smelling the wide selection of bubblegum air fresheners for sale in the office you have suddenly become inexplicably interested in Michael Crichton’s entire collection of work and wish to discuss his portrayal of biotechnology, then my thoughts are the following….’ No one ever wants to hear the end of that sentence.

Even the promise that I could test drive it next time didn’t lift my spirits; some things should not be done in the presence of a lady, and buying a car is definitely one of them.

Unless the car just so happened to be for me.

That changes everything.